Hello Crippling Anxiety

**This article first appeared on The Trek, which you can view here.

Hey everyone and welcome to my first blog… that I’ve been putting off writing for about 4 weeks or so now because well… anxiety. So, if you end up reading this blog in its entirety, I thank you.
 
Introductions
Allow me to quickly introduce myself. As a child I was described as someone who has boatloads of energy.  To give an outlet to that boundless energy, I would play tons of different sports, go camping, hula hooping, tree climbing, dancing, biking, or just running around until I collapse for a “recharging” nap to do it again when I wake up. I loved adventures and fun. Now, as an adult I channel that energy into hiking, backpacking, paddle boarding, camping, you name it. I am ready for any outdoor adventure at a moments notice. When I’m not outside I’m playing Mario Party beating whoever I can OR playing with my puppy Storm. But, enough about me let’s get into it.

T-Minus 6 days and counting!!!
This time next week I’ll be on the Pacific Crest Trail starting my journey of 2,650 miles.
Holy heck cue panicking. I constantly feel a lump in my throat that no matter what I can’t seem to swallow it away. Don’t get me wrong I am ecstatic that I’m about to embark on this adventure, but the turmoil in my stomach is making me feel sick at the same time. At this point in the game, I’m just waiting for my start date to come and I’m antsy and ready to go right this second. Just rip the band aid off ya know?

 Procrastinating gets me every time without fail 
I’ve been putting off writing and posting my first blog because of many reasons and fears/worries.
I’m not the greatest writer.
I know my grammar won’t be the best and I’ll make lots of mistakes.
I am also struggling with what to write. What will people want to read? What if people glance at a blog I post and say, “that’s stupid why would she write about that?”  Will people be interested in my “why”? Am I ready to be raw and unapologetically write my feelings and thoughts before during and after the trail for thousands of people to read and judge me for those thoughts I have? Honestly, I am not sure if I’m ready for that, but we are out here trying so don’t grab the pitchforks yet ok?
 Secret time?
Ready to hear a secret? I’m literally having a panic attack as I write this. Can anyone else relate to these feelings because I would LOVE to know I’m not alone. I’m going to end this here and keep my first blog short and sweet!

Keep an eye out for my future posts and Happy Hiking friends!
 
Alyssa