A long break in between my hike

Hi everyone, this post is going to be a little different as it's just going to be a bunch random things that happened during my 32 day period where I was off trail due to my injury and all of those feelings and thoughts that comes with it. 

I feel helpless, angry, sad, hopeless, gutted, desperate and more.
I attempted to hike again and got 1.5 miles in before I broke down crying knowing that I couldn't continue and that I would need more rest to heal whatever my injury is.
Said goodbye to my new friend Poncho that day (he was nice enough to walk me back to the road though before leaving and hiking on) We had just celebrated me getting back on trail a couple hours earlier with a burger and shake from Paradise Valley. Now I was going back. Ugh. Not happy. 
Laura was nice enough to let me stay at her place for the first week of my healing. I went with Carol at one point to get X-rays to make sure nothing was fractured or broken. It wasn't. Carol is injured too, much worse than me and her hike might be over. I hope not...
I started to feel myself slip into a depression. I wasn't up for socializing much anymore, I was pulling away because of my sadness and the uncertainty of what's next for me. What if this injury didn't heal? What if my journey was over? What if I failed? So much uncertainty and my anxiety hates uncertainty. 

After staying at Laura's for a bit I moved on to another trail angel's house. I was shuttled between Angela's friend's house in Idyllwild and then Angela's place which is on a ranch outside of town. She was so wonderful and made sure I had lots of food and everything I needed. They also introduced me to Hulu which ended up being my saving grace from boredom while on bed rest. 

At Angela's I met some horses on the ranch and fed them carrots. Horses truly are marvelous creatures. I met her cats, and she made me yummy snacks and food. Angela you are the real MVP haha. 
I probably watched about 100 hours of TV over the last however many days.

I was having a hard time just sitting around and waiting for my foot to stop hurting. The fact that no one knew for sure what was wrong had me in a constant worry. It was difficult to see all my friends on the trail hitting all these milestones that I should be hitting at the same time. I was so happy for them, but very sad myself because I wished I was there experiencing it myself.

After my stay at Angela's was up I put out an ad on the trail angel and Idyllwild groups for another person's place to stay at. My ad was answered by a a few people, but I chose to go to Steve's house, he is going to hike the AT this year to complete his triple crown so I thought it would be interesting to pick his brain all things thru hiking. His friend is also a PCT hiker, lawyer like him AND a PT. So I was able to get in to see him (Bill) and he did some assessments of my foot and introduced me to shockwave therapy. Which later on I expect is the reason I started to feel the pain subside drastically. Night and day difference by my second day after the therapy. I was finally starting to feel a little hope.
I booked a one way flight home from Palm Springs to Vancouver because I decided I needed to see a specialist, a Podiatrist. (I kept my gear with Angela to ensure I come back to trail after I'm healed and finish what I started)
It was wonderful to be home for a bit. Storm missed me so much as I did her, and I was able to teach her some new tricks when I was home too. It was nice to spend my birthday with my pup and my partner too. I didn't want to be in a town alone to spend my birthday so that was another reason I decided to come home.
I took a few days more off my foot while waiting for my appointment. The podiatrist wanted to charge $1700 for the orthodics they said I needed to correct my foot issues. I got a second opinion at Kin Tech and got them for much cheaper at $550. I also went to a running store and got better shoes for my feet as well. 
Things were looking up now. My foot seemed to be healing well, the doctor's gave me the okay as long as my pain subsided before I start the trail again. I tested it with a few easy walks with Storm around our favourite park. All seemed well, a little achy but okay.  I was finally good to go. 

So my mom and I decided to drive back to California and hike a section of the trail together before I continued on without her. 

32 days...
32 days I was off the trail.
Stuck in my thoughts of not knowing what was next for me.
I wouldn't recommend that for anyone.
32 days of resting, RMT's, PT's, X-rays, Chiropractors, Specialists, Doctors, etc.
Fingers crossed that I don't get re-injured. 
I made it back.
The trail was calling me back so I must go.